So my buddy, the Politically Uninformed Union Worker calls me last night.
PUUW: "So, are we at some sort of alert or warning or something?"
Me: "Uhm, yeah, orange alert, go buy duct tape and plastic sheeting."
PUUW: "Uhm, I have that stuff already. What the heck is this warning about, and why would I need duct tape and plastic sheeting?"
Me: "The federal government has raised the warning status for posssible terrorist attacks to the second level from the top, and they won't say why, and it's not clear what duct tape and sheeting is for, but they want you to be prepared to seal up one room and have at least three days of supplies."
PUUW: "Oh. My girlfriend said she heard all about this at the VFW where she works."
Me: "And?"
PUUW: "And they said Osama came out and said he and Saddam were buddies."
Me: "Iraq went to war with Iran in the middle 80's, killing about a million people on each side, over the fact that Iran was run by religious fundamentalists that wanted to have all of the Middle East under Islamic fundamentalist rulers. Including Iraq, which is under dictatorial, but not religious fundamentalist rule. That's why we supported Saddam before we didn't support him. Do you think Osama is going to be buddies with a guy that fought a war opposing religious fundamentalists? More importantly, do you think Saddam is going to be buddies with a religious fundamentalist that wants Iraq turned into a religious state, run by clerics, instead of Saddam?"
PUUW: "See, what you said makes sense. Sounds like a whole herd of scorpions in a bottle, and I don't remember too many scorpions having friends among the other scorpions in a bottle."
Me: "Sounds about right to me."
PUUW: "So what the hell is going on?"
Me: "Got me, what do you think is going on?"
PUUW: "I think everybody is fucking nuts."
Me; "Could very well be."
PUUW: "Good thing I got duct tape, eh?"
Me: "Yeah, beat the rush."